I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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