haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
