i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
