Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
