highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
