____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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