Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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