No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
