what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
