remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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