We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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