I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
