I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
