He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
