i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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