I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
