He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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