So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
