What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize