U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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