two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
