You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
