I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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