Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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