i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
