your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
