if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
