he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
