my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
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Sounds like a legit justification to me.
Should have peed in her. Don't jack up the girls shoes.
Well, if they weren't pretty before, they certainly are now.
I think it's time for you to come out of the closet.
Couldn't you just have found a bathroom?
And her sober justification for caving in yer skull with a fryin pan is that yer a drunken douche nozzle.