I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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