i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
