i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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