I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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