i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
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That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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