I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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