he puts the penis in happiness.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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