I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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