So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
