based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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