Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
