shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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