it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
