don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
