I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
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i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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