Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you didnt know i had herpes?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
