I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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