some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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