I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
