i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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