The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
