The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
if you like me you must not know who I am
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
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