did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
