i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
