So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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