think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
