Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
