I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
