I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
