And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
