It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
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Honey, if its a cave I think you found the reason its been so long.
I would love to go spelunking with you.
That's just herzlogging through a dry spell. Also: albino crocodiles!!
I've always been down for a Cave Expedition
Don't forget the tattoo: "Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate."
Geez, it's only been 24 hours.