My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize