Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
