Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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