he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
