saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
