if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
