Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
