i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
